I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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