I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize