used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
