the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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