I think im going to throw up on grandma
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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