I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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