I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This is classic penis vs brain.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize