is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
