My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
