So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
