remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
