Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
