well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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