u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
