Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
