So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This house was built for laser tag.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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