So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
