Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
