Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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