Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
