oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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