woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
