I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
