she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize