im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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