Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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