well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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