There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Vodka?
Forever.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
