Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I can't put those talents on a resume
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
