I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
