great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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