Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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