So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
