omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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