Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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