i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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