don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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