Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
