its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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