Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Randomize
