how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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