bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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