In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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