New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize