Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
