i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
