just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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