:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Randomize
