Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
