I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
