You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
