I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
