she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
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