Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
