i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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