If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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